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Our friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered several hardships, and I respect her for that. But, she has been constantly taken by surprise by people. Her spouse left her, which came as a huge shock. A lot of her friends vanished during that time, as they were drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her. She put in increased attention to be my friend, likely grasped better the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern of Disappearance

In the time since, quite a few close to her vanished leaving her certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she had been very skilled at her work, she departed without knowing the reason for the change.

Present Situation

In recent times, we have each left the workforce leading to more frequent meetups, yet I realize my role in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. I try to propose factchecking and alternate views.

She has been planning a holiday to a nation I know well many times even called home for some time. I tried to provide personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She essentially solely sought my agreement with her plans. I've just ended a month in that place and she wants to catch up, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to be a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, yet I doubt she can grasp the effect of her behaviour on my self-esteem. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is seldom the easy answer that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to working things out requires bravery and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially requires explaining how things go when you talk. It should be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no dispute about this. Emotions are your feelings, after all. Step three is to question how you are both can shift the dynamics in your relationship."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, so you need to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for a set time."

This can be successful for promoting mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they have a version regarding their experiences they cannot let go of since their identity is tied to it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present like this and then think on your words. And should you never reach an agreement, you'll have closure that you've been truthful.